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David Perry

Mattress-speak can yield hidden pearls of wisdom

This week we drill down beneath the surface reality of the common sayings and, yes, clichés that are so much a part of our mattress vocabulary. We look for hidden nuggets of wisdom, pearls in the oyster, as it were. 

We begin with: “These are interesting times.” I like this phrase. It sounds so much better than: “Business is lousy,” or something to that effect. And it is true that we are living in interesting times, as in: It is interesting how hard we have to work to spark sales, or it is interesting how this business changes every day. Our point here is that business is more fun if you can find “interesting” elements in it. 

Now we move to the extremely common expression: “It is what it is.” This is a handy little bit of wisdom, which can be applied to almost any mattress situation. A promotional mattress line “is what it is.” The current business climate “is what it is.” An overly long mattress warranty “is what it is.” The problem with this annoying expression is that it suggests we must accept whatever it is we are discussing. Well, we don’t. If we don’t like things the way they are, we can try to change them. I mean, we could say: “It was what it was.” 

“This isn’t your first rodeo.” That is catchy. Truth be told, I’ve never been to a rodeo, but I’ve been to lots of markets, as we all have. And I’ve seen the ups and downs that are an inevitable part of business. OK, we are in a down period these days. Do you want to cry about that? You can’t; there is no crying in Mattressville. This is not a time to panic; it’s a time to control costs, keep promoting, and keep your cool. 

“Selling the sizzle.” This is a better thing to sell than low prices. Bedding producers continue to be adept at coming up with new twists and turns — in everything from coils to basic bed designs. Yes, there are still two-sided beds on the market. Mattress covers have never offered more unique features. We’ve got lots of good stuff to talk about in our retail ads. 

“Selling the steak.” Yes, the details of mattresses — the coils and foams and covers, etc. — are worth touting. But the steak we are selling is better sleep. There has never been more information on sleep available, but too little of that information makes it onto the sales floor. 

“Sleep like a baby.” We’ve all seen babies lying in their cribs and sleeping that sweet sleep of the young. We are selling the refreshing, restorative power of sleep. If you think about it, babies are not usually sleep deprived. They get all the sleep their little bodies need. Wouldn’t it be great if we grown-ups got all of the sleep that our bigger bodies need? 

I hope this little journey down the literary lane has been helpful to you as you contemplate how to approach your business these days. Remember: This column is what it is, or was what it was. I hope you enjoy these interesting times. And may you sleep like a baby, and I don’t mean that you wake up in the middle of the night crying.